{C}'s baby was born yesterday.
It would have been my baby's birthday.
November 2, 2010.
Her and I are friends on Facebook since we knew each other growing up. I can't decide whether to delete her or not. Part of me is curious...I want to see what this little girl looks like. I want her to post pictures. And on the other hands...it will totally rip me up inside.
Someday I will have my own baby. I know that. I wish that someday was closer to today.
Today would have been great.
:( Feeling for you. Facebook is so difficult to sift through. I deleted my account this year because a) I was spending way too much time on it and b) I realized these 'friends' of mine weren't really friends at all. I decided to spend more time with my real life relationships in person and so far, no complaining here. It's been kind of nice disappearing from that 'world'.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, before you delete your friend, think about the real reason why. Is it just because you resent her for having a baby on your special day, or is it because you have no intention of being real life friends with her anymore. Unfortunately, the pictures and updates on baby will probably dominate her page, so you're going to have to weigh the friendship vesus the hurt and pain.
Praying for ya,
Jess
What a difficult day. Of course your heart is filled with sorrow at what could have been but what was not to be. Take very good care of yourself at this time, as you grieve the loss of this little girl you so, so wanted to be yours.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you.
I'm SO SORRY for this...you know best what to do...maybe avoid her (hide her) for a while until you're strong enough to handle it if you're still curious...but I'm mourning with you...HUGS!!!!!
ReplyDelete@Jess- {C} wasn't just any friend having a baby. She was the girl who was going to place her child with me. So the little girl who was born, would have been my little girl. Thank you for your prayers!!! You are such an awesome blog friend to have!
ReplyDelete@All of you- I can feel your love from here and it is amazing!!! I don't know what I would do without you guys! It is great for me to know that I can send my words out into cyber space and be heard and understood! Thank you Thank you Thank you!