Right now, I am doing a fun "experiment" and trying to take all of my friend's and my friend's mother's advice and "Just Relax".

Sunday, July 18, 2010

BFNegative-Month 3 1/2

My doctor told me to not take Provera while I am on this new stuff. She wants to see if my cycle can start itself with it. Since I could ovulate at any time, I am testing myself every couple weeks to see if I am pregnant.

About two nights ago I had a dream that I found out that I was pregnant. The whole night I got to enjoy telling people the great news. Oscar would put his hand on my stomach and talk to it. It was amazing.

When I woke up, I started to cry. I was so sad that it was all over and that none of it was real. The past week I have been trying to do everything possible to take my mind off of our baby worries. I have thrown myself into all of my work. All systems were at 110% so that I wouldn't have to stop and stress about this taking longer than I had hoped.

All of that work wasted by one nights amazing dream.

I started to think that it was a sign from God. That maybe it was a vision of sorts telling me that I was pregnant.

So this morning I POAS. Nothing. One hundred percent not pregnant.

Maybe I need to "relax" better next week. No working like a mad women...I could go for a massage.

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