None of Your Fricken Business!

Let me start off by saying, This is not directed at you.

I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (LDS for short). I'm a pretty religious person but I try not to be in your face about it. I love this Church and I know that it is true.

I don't like "Mormon" culture. "Mormon" is a nickname that people have for LDS members because we believe that the Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ. I call people "Mormons" who have their own weird sub-culture that has nothing to do with the teachings if the LDS church.

In the Mormon culture, women feel like they are born to make babies and so their goals in life consist of learning crafts, getting married to have babies, and learning more crafts.

With that all explained, let me tell you a story. I live in a place that is highly populated with members of the LDS faith. While at college last semester I took a "Interpersonal Process" class and met this one girl that I am going to call Lady A. Lady A is a total Mormon. She was single when we met and two months later she met a guy and one month later they were engaged. The engagement lasted for a month and they were married on January 2 of this year. She told me before they got married that she was planning on not using birth control but "letting God give her a baby". 3 days after she was married, she was pregnant.

I found out that she was pregnant about the same time that I was going through finding out about PCOS and so I wasn't outright avoiding her but I wasn't going out of my way to hang out with her either.

Today I ran into her while trying to get to one of my classes.

We made small talk. She showed me her little baby bump and I let her talking about the joy she is feeling.

Then she said, "What's new with you? Are you pregnant, yet?"

I guess since I have been married for 10 months at least a hint of a baby on the way would be expected. But we have only been trying since I found out that it might be a while.

I told her, "No. No baby on the way."

And then she said the most hurtful thing that could be said to me right now, "What's taking so long?"

She wasn't trying to be mean. I kept telling myself over and over again. I was stunned. I just stood there. Silent.

I just said, "Nope. Nothing new. I better get to class."

I kept hearing, "What's taking so long?" over and over again in my head. I stopped myself from crying but it was hard. It hasn't been that long since I started trying but, I have no reason to think it is going to be anytime soon. The thought of me being 5 years from now with no baby has been banging around in my head lately.

She didn't know what she was saying. She didn't know if would hurt. But even then, what business is it of hers when I am planning on having children?

Happy New Year!! (Thai Style)

I used to live in Thailand growing up and it is still a very big part of my life. I want to be able to some day pass on some of the traditions that I loved when I was over there.

The biggest one is the Thai New Year, Songkron. Most of the rituals surrounding the holiday are religious but I'm not a Buddhist. The best part of Songkron though is the nation wide water fight. The whole country stops for days and has a huge water fight. I love it!

I thought that even though I am stuck living in the United States, I would make the most of it and have a water fight anyway. It was awesome!

I have the best husband in the world. He is the only guy who can deal with my craziness and keep me in check. We had so much fun with our friends too!We had some children come over who I knew when I lived overseas. They were so much fun to see again. See how good I am with kids? Someday...This is my old room mate Clarise and my little brother Daniel. They are so fun to be around.Water balloon baseball was a hit (pun was VERY intended) with the crowd. Look at that great follow through!Happy Songkron!!! I hope all of you have sunshine headed your way!

New Lappy

I got a new laptop since my old one finally bite the dust. I only had it for 3 years but due to "roughness" it went in a fairly early time frame. (I dropped it one to many times on its butt and stabbed it in the motherboard with the power thingy...or so they tell me.)

My husband was kind enough to get me this new one...I just can't have any new toys for awhile.

I don't really have anything to report.

I thought you might enjoy some photos of me that I took with the web cam...because I'm so excited that this computer has ones.I've been sick lately so I have had plenty of time to sit and play around. Nothing new...just waiting for this semester to end so I can have a little vacation.

Facebook, Stop Rubbing It In!

This might be old news to some of you, but to me, lately it seems like every time I get on facebook, the ads on the sides all say about the same thing.
No facebook...I would not like to follow my no existent baby's growth week by week, but thanks for reminding me about my BFN!Hmmm...let me think about it. Ummmm...NO! Not yet! And no thank you, I already have a free website that is devoted at the moment to my empty uterus.That would be cool if I could get people to buy me presents for my "Woe is Me" party.*sigh* I'm out of snarky things to say.

But, seriously? All of these popped up in just twenty minutes of being on facebook! After the last one, I couldn't take it. I clicked the "X" and told them my reason was because it was offensive. Facebook has made me offended of pregnant women and babies.

Anyone else feel my pain?

Spring Time

Well, it was officially Spring Time on March 21st and yesterday was Easter. The universal day of new life and rebirth. This is what I woke up to.When my husband and I woke up and saw how beautiful (and so so cold) it was outside we decided to take a trip into the Provo Canyon. I was in Provo visiting friends and family for the holiday and I was so glad that we did. I have been wanting to get some better shots of the snow lately.I loved this hint of spring peeking out from under this rock.I'm so lucky to have a husband that lets me jump out of the car to take pictures of reflections in the water.
I love the clouds that are right on the top of this picture.I have been taking the beauty of the mountains for granted lately since I don't like the cold. I shouldn't because it really is breathe taking sometimes.I'm so glad that I could get out and enjoy this Easter morning.

Blog Hop

This is the first time that I have joined in on a blog hop and so I hope that I am doing it right.

Welcome to my blog!!!

I just found out that I have PCOS about a month and a half ago. My husband and I were trying to decide when we wanted to have kids and my doctors visit in February came as quite a shock to both of us. We are currently TTC naturally.

I try to write about more than just what is going on with my nether regions. I like to think that I am more than my PCOS. I am trying to explore my talents and this blog was originally going to be for me to write about 2010 and my quest to learn how to sew. It has turned into so much more.

Feel free to read my blog and get to know me.

On A Stick

I knew for a couple weeks that this time was drawing closer...peeing on a stick time. Since AF wasn't looking like she was on the way I had to take some progesterone pills but before that could be done, I had to find out if I was pregnant.

I knew I wasn't pregnant. Or maybe I didn't know but I didn't want to get my hopes up that maybe I was.

For the last couple days I have really just been building myself up to do it. I've been telling myself that it wasn't to find out that I was pregnant but to okay AF heading over.

Finally I did it. I got up the nerve.

Even after telling myself that I wasn't going to care...I did. Staring at that negative stick again feels like it is taking all of my fantasizing and wishing and pulls me back down to the realness that is my PCOS.

I'll build myself back up for next month.