Awkward Moments

Yesterday was a total reminder to me why you shouldn't try and adopt a baby from someone that you knew from high school.

At the time, it seemed like it was destiny. {C} was pregnant and didn't know if she could keep the baby and was going to adoption agencies trying to find a couple to place her baby with. She wanted to place baby {M} with someone that she knew...and then there was me.

But now it is over and everything is awful.

The worst part is that everyone from my high school knows her too and they want to talk about little baby {M}.

Of course I know {C} had her baby...but I can't say, "I know. She was going to be my daughter." People bring it up in conversation and ask me if I have seen pictures of her, ask me if I knew, try and tell me about her divorce.

Some people say to never adopt from someone that you know. I don't know about that. But I would say, never try to adopt from someone that all of your friends know.

Tomorrow I will try and post something a bit happier.

My Thanksgiving Story

Well, it has been said before by many people in the IF community that the holidays are the worst time for us because it is so family oriented.

This Thanksgiving though, I decided to get together with my family that are close by and some friends that didn't have anywhere to go for dinner. It was still a pretty small group of 6 but it was nice to all be together for the holiday.

We ate at 2:30pm and it was amazing. At 4 though...everything kind of turned. At 4, my friend {M} announced that she was pregnant.

I'm happy for her. I don't want you guys to think that I wanted to throw her out of my house for getting knocked up but ...it wasn't something that I really wanted to think about just then.

The next 3 or 4 hours was spent calling all of her family and friends on skype and making the big announcement. So...there I was. Sitting on my couch with a piece of cherry pie listening to the "I'm pregnant" song, followed with the chorus of "That is so wonderful! We are so excited for you! When you are you due? How has morning sickness been? When will you find out if it is a boy or a girl?"

She is a wonderful person and her loved ones have a right to be happy and want to celebrate with her but it was just so hard guys.

One thing that got me through though was thinking, "I'm so going to blog about this. The ladies will love this CLASSIC story."

I would have been happier for her, I think, if her and her husband had at least been trying to have a baby. But no...it was a surprise. And "surprises" seem to only add fuel to the "if you stop worrying about it, it will just happen" fire.

I'm so excited for Christmas. I'm sure someone else is secretly pregnant right now too.

My Last List of Thankful

I really left all of this to the last minute!

16) I'm thankful for my mother. I'm so glad that I talked to her to yesterday when I was trying to make sure Thanksgiving happened at my house.

17) I'm thankful for policemen who work on Thanksgiving and can come to the aid of people in trouble. I'm just not so grateful that I had to see them last night when my friend got in a car accident.

18) I'm thankful for the internet...for so many different reasons but today it is because I can do Black Friday shopping without getting murdered.

19) I'm thankful for double paned windows so that I can be warm all night and not have a crazy electric bill.

20) I'm thankful for old enemies that can turn into new acquaintances (because we were all stupid in high school anyway.)

21) I'm thankful for a husband who supports me in all my dreams and totally believes in me even when I don't. I know I already said Oscar but I seriously love and appreciate so many things about him.

22) I'm thankful for dog sweaters...because whoever thought of them has a great friend in my fur baby Pippen. He can play in the Utah weather all he wants now.

23) Food. Last nights food was amazing!!! I don't know about you guys but life wouldn't be worth it in the winter if there wasn't pumpkin pie. There should always be pumpkin pie. That's a breakfast food too, right?

24) People who are willing to drive an hour and a half to spend the holiday with me.

25) Blogging buddies!! Because it is nice to know that I have people who understand what I am feeling and are on my side. You are all so great to me.

26) Jesus...because, come on, He is pretty awesome. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my faith. It is seriously so amazing to have a Heavenly Father who listens to me and cares about me...even if He doesn't answer my prayers right away.

I hope you enjoy todays post because...tomorrow I'm going to tell you a story about my Thanksgiving that is mostly sweet but a little sad.

Happy Holidays guys! Drive safe!

Not Glad Sunday

Lately I have been realizing that I'm a bit of a control freak. If people (especially my poor husband) aren't doing something the way I think it should be done or want it done, I get really irritated. I think sometimes, I'm a bit hard on my kids at Church. But not in this story.

On Sunday, one of the kids, we'll call him {T}, needed to go to the bathroom. He had been misbehaving for an hour already, being a total pill. Running through the halls, hitting other kids with a folder, taking things out of my bag and playing with them without asking...you get the picture. Not what I would expect from a 5 year old.

I take him to the men's room and stand outside waiting for him. He is a big boy and can take care of himself. The door that I was standing outside of has a window. The window is bubble paned so I can't "see" anything but I can see what is going on inside when {T} isn't at a urinal or in a stall.

After a couple minutes {T} comes back into view. And he is running up and down in front of the stalls and climbing onto the sink. At first, I thought that he might be looking for something or trying to figure something out but after a couple more minutes, I become convinced that he isn't really doing anything. So I crack open the door and yell, "{T}, I can see you through the window. Stop it and come out."

A man walks past me into the bathroom and says, "I'll get him."

I hear {T}, "I need a paper towel. I can't reach."

The man gets the paper towel and leads {T} to the door.

As I'm walking him back to class, this group of mild age men that have been standing near by start laughing and one says in a high voice, "I can see you through the window!" And another says, "Wait till someone is screaming at your kid."

And a man who my husband and I had talked to about our hopeful adoption (He and his wife have adopted 4 kids of their own) said, "Doesn't that make you glad you don't have any?"

No. It doesn't make me glad. Not glad at all.

The Last 6 Weeks

Maybe I'm a total bitch but I really wanted to write, "Being able to have a baby should have made the last six weeks worth it."

This is one of my friends who got married and about a week into the marriage she was pregnant. Before she got married she told me that she believed in the "When God wants to give me a baby, I'll have a baby" birth control.

I have a HUGE rant about that "form of birth control". But for now, I want to write about things that made my last six weeks worth it.

10) My in-laws. I have a great sister-in-law who is always so sweet to me. She helped me plan my wedding because my real sister is always too busy to help me with anything. She sits and lets me talk to her about the adoption falling through.

11) Soup!! I love soup and it is the perfect weather for it. It is the best friend that my belly could have.

12) Warm showers!! Whenever I have a cold, I hop in a warm shower. Anytime I have sore muscles, I hop in a warm shower. If I've been outside in the cold too long and I can't feel my toes, I hop in a warm shower. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have a water heater.

13) My church children. They are so fun to see every week. I'm so glad that I get to hear their innocent thoughts on things. Yesterday they made thank you cards for the woman who plays the music for us. But one of the kids drew a pictures of me as an alien. If I was an alien, I would 3 mouths, 5 legs and curly fingers...just so you know.

14) My oven. I think I figured out why people bake cookies and things throughout the whole Christmas season. IT IS SO WARM!! I baked cookies for a party that I had the other day and I loved it so much!!! I get to stay warm and I get cookies. My oven makes me happy.

15) Netflix. I know...this one is kind of lame in the grand scheme of things. Netflix is super awesome though. Since I have been sitting in bed and moping most of the last 6 weeks, I have watched a ton of instant videos on Netflix. They are made of magic.

More Gratitude with Attitude

More Things That Are Awesome:

7) I got to see baby {M}. This was the baby that would have been my baby...that isn't. I thought that it would be awful to see her little face. I had to change my whole way of thinking to be alright with this though. I had to go from thinking, "That would have been my baby. My beautiful baby." To, "{C} is so blessed to have this little one in her life. I'm so happy that {C} loves her baby so much and would do anything for her. They are so lucky to have each other." {M} is beautiful...by the way.

Most newborns are GROSS!! I mean...little aliens. (Am I right? They need a couple days to...fix that...) But not {M}. {M} is perfect. She is perfect, like my babies will be someday.

8) My Little Brothers! They are awesome! Since my sister doesn't know where this blog is, I can speak freely. She is crazy. I love her but she is crazy. Like...made me change my wedding date because it was too close to her anniversary, crazy.

No one understands my sense of humor like my brothers do. We can laugh and talk for days on end. Trips with my brothers are great! I'm planning a trip next summer to Mexico with one of them. I can tell them about anything and they can turn it around and make me laugh. Happiest people that I know. I want to have lots of kids so that they can all be as close as my brothers and me.

9) My parents. They gave me an awesome life. My mom's goal is raising me was to give me a life better than hers and she has. Both of my parents have given me so much. An understand that Home really is where the Heart is. And my heart is my family. There is no foundation stronger than a good family. My parents also taught me that blood does not a family make. I was taught that amazing friends are family too. No matter what you were born into, you can make that strong family foundation.

Now that you all think that I am adorable...I will sign off. Some day you will probably find out that in real life...I'm not so nice. :)

On a Lighter Note: My Neck

Okay, so...this might not seem like it is going to be a funny story but I give you permission to laugh.

I have been struggling to get rid of this cold lately(I was enjoying the excuse to stay in bed and mope). Well last Monday I wanted some peached and cream to make me feel a little better (mentally...not physically. I realize that drinking dairy is bad for me while I have a sinus infection.) so I poured myself a bowl of cream and went to town. When my husband came into the room as I finished the last bites he said, "Oh my gosh! That is expired! Can't you see the chunks!"

I had not...I couldn't really taste it so I wasn't paying too much attention.

That night I got terribly sick. Everything coming out of both ends. Am I painting you a pretty picture?s

Long story short...I gave myself

WHIP LASH!

from puking my guts out.

That is right, ladies and gentlemen. I have been pretty much bed ridden since then from the pain in my neck and back. My husband's mother is a physical therapist and so she set me up really nicely. Pain killers and limited movement. Anti inflammatory and muscle relaxers.

Please...someone tell me that you have an even crazier/ridiculous accident story.

(Did I ever tell you guys about the time I broke my foot stepping in a gopher hole? I never said I was a role model.)

I will write about more things I'm grateful for tomorrow.